Attack of the Teletubbies!!!!
by DarkMoon2
Summary: YES!! IT FINALLY WORKED!! *ahem* Sorry. So. . . this is insanity. Dart and Shana bashing, Lloyd torture (and hugging), and Teletubbies (sort of)!!


Attack of the Teletubbies!! (a.k.a. Rampant Insanity)  
By DarkMoon  
  
*Dart and Co. (including Lloyd) are walking down a hallway in a dark castley sort of place, having just been transported there via fanfiction enabled magic*  
  
Dart: I wonder where we are?  
  
Lloyd: Good question.  
  
Shana: IÕm scared Dart. . .  
  
Haschel: I hear ya.  
  
*Suddenly, out of the shadows, comes maniacal laughter*  
  
????: MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dart and Shana: *cling to each other*  
  
Rose: What the hell was that?!?  
  
Albert: Well, gee Rose, it sounded like maniacal laughter to me. Did it sound like that to you?  
  
Rose: Shut up, smart-ass. *turns to Dart, who is looking around with huge eyes* Well Dart, you worthless piece of crap, youÕre our leader, you go see what it was.  
  
Dart: *stares at Rose* But. . .but, I donÕt wanna! *whining*  
  
Rose: Dart, you know how much I detest whining. Now shut up and go see what it was, or IÕll have to slap you! Again!  
  
Dart: Yes maÕam. . .  
  
*But, before he can move, a tall, lizard-like creature steps out of the shadows*  
  
Creature: Bwahahahaha!!!!  
  
Rose: Is demonic laughing all you can do?!?  
  
Creature: *blink* Well, no. . . but. . . I AM THE WINGON QUEEN OF THE DEATH FRONTIER!!!!! FEAR ME!!!!!  
  
All: *tremble*  
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Uh, side note: BTW, Wingons are creatures I created. When I get my website up and running, there will be a full description and hopefully a picture of them. They are bizzare, genetically engineered hybrids, half Wingly, half Dragon. DonÕt ask me how genetic engineering is possible in the LoD world, cuz I donÕt know. . . oh. Wait. Fanfiction enabled magic. Silly me. Carry on.  
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*Lloyd, knowing what a Wingon is, steps forward to get a closer look*  
  
Lloyd: Cool. . .  
  
Wingon: *gasp* You. . .youÕre Lloyd. . .  
  
Lloyd: Uh, yeah. So?  
  
*the WingonÕs eyes get really big*  
  
Wingon: OMG!!! *tackles Lloyd and latches her arms around his waist*  
  
Lloyd: What the heck?!?  
  
Rose: Hey!!  
  
Wingon: Silence fool!!!  
  
Rose: *cringes*  
  
Wingon: *smiles and goes back to hugging Lloyd, who is starting to look disturbed*  
  
Shana: Why is everybody yelling. . . *sobs*  
  
*the Wingon empressÕs eyes go solid white (like Storm in the X-Men movie) and a flurry of Hot Pockets drops from the celing and hits Shana*  
  
Shana: *faints*  
  
Dart: Hey!! *is knocked out by a flurry of small rodents*  
  
Meru: Cool.  
  
Wingon: Thank you. Oh! How rude of me! IÕm DarkMoon.  
  
Lloyd: *gasp* I. . . IÕve heard of you! YouÕre the one who bought all of the LoD stuff that had to do with me! YouÕre a freak!  
  
DarkMoon: Why, yes, I am. A sadistic one too. *claps hands together and a hoard of little flaming demon things appears from a side hallway* *to the demons* Take all of these nincompoops to the dungeons! You- *kicks LloydÕs legs out from under him and grabs the collar of his vest* Come with me. *drags him away*  
  
Lloyd: But. . .but. . .wait a minute. . . *fades away*  
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*cut to the dungeons, where everybody except Lloyd is sitting around looking bored*  
  
Albert: I wonder where Lloyd is. . .  
  
Meru: I donÕt know, but I wish something would happen. IÕm bored!  
  
*a giant rat with two heads runs by*  
  
All: *scream*  
  
*door to the dungeon opens*  
  
DarkMoon: *comes in dragging Lloyd* Howdy folks. Sorry nobody warned you about the rats. *dumps Lloyd on the floor* Well, here he is. Ta ta! *skips out, slamming the door behind her*  
  
Lloyd: *staring blankly into space*  
  
Rose: Uh, Lloyd?  
  
Lloyd: *Turns and looks at her. Cut to his point of view, which is slightly blurry. All he sees is a blob of purple*  
  
Rose: Are you alright?  
  
Lloyd: YOU ARE GAY!!!!  
  
Rose: *taken aback* What the hell!?!  
  
Lloyd: YOU ARE THE PURPLE ONE!!! ALL THE TABLOIDS SAID YOU WERE GAY!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Albert, who has been listening to this, starts thinking. The pieces suddenly fit together, and he realizes what has happened*  
  
Albert: Oh my God. . . she forced him to watch that cursed show. . .  
  
Rose: What show?  
  
Albert: *swallows* The. . . Teletubbies. . .  
  
*thunder booms in the distance*  
  
Meru: *horrified*  
  
Rose: *speechless*  
  
Lloyd: *looks around, eyes finally landing on Dart and Albert, who are sitting next to each other* Po and Dipsy!! Why are you not over here with Tinky-Winky?  
  
*Dart and Albert glance at each other for a second, then Dart yanks off his armour and throws it in a corner. Albert scoots over and hides behind Kongol*  
  
Lloyd: *looking dissapointed* No Laa-Laa?  
  
Rose: AAAGGGHHHH!!!! I canÕt take it anymore! *slaps Lloyd* CURSE YOU DARKMOON!!!!  
  
*all of a sudden, an intercom crackles to life in the dungeon*  
  
DarkMoon: *over the intercom* Now now, I havenÕt done anything wrong. . .just scarred him for life. Bwahaha. . .  
  
Rose: What did you do to him?!?  
  
DarkMoon: I made him watch the four-hour Teletubbies marathon on public television.  
  
All: *shudder at the thought*  
  
DarkMoon: *demonic cackling*  
  
Lloyd: *hears DarkMoon and curls up into a little ball on the floor*  
  
DarkMoon: *stops cackling* Sooo. . .anyway, he should be back to normal in a couple of hours. HeÕll just be terrified of me every single time he sees me for the rest of his life.  
  
Rose: Blast you. . .  
  
DarkMoon: Aww, come on! He thinks you are all Teletubbies! I think itÕs cute!!  
  
Meru: Yeah. . . it is kinda cute.  
  
Dart: *shivering because heÕs not wearing his armour* YouÕre both crazy.  
  
DarkMoon: Be quiet! I donÕt want to have to throw you to my flaming minions, cuz youÕre actually kinda cute. Stupid, but cute.  
  
Shana: *bursts into tears*  
  
DarkMoon: Oh fer GodÕs sake. . . SHUT UP!!!  
  
Shana: Is hit with a barrage of tropical spice scented tea candles from Pier 1*  
  
Dart: Dang. . .you sure do like hitting people with random objects, donÕt you?  
  
DarkMoon: Not people, just you and Shana.  
  
Dart: Oh.  
  
*everyone, for no reason other than the fact that the author wants them to, suddenly looks at Rose, who has her arms around Lloyd, who is rocking back and forth*  
  
Meru and DarkMoon: Awwww!!!!  
  
Rose: *glares at them*  
  
Meru: Shutting up. . .  
  
DarkMoon: Hey!! WhoÕs the royalty here, me or you?  
  
Albert: *still hiding behind Kongol* I hate you.  
  
Rose: Same here.  
  
DarkMoon: DonÕt they all. . . well, I suppose Lloyd should be somewhere else when he snaps out of it, otherwise heÕll get loose and IÕll waste an entire page and a half describing the chase scene. *waves her claws* See you later! Bye yÕall!  
  
*everyone vanishes into thin air*  
  
DarkMoon: *clicks on a handheld tape recorder* Phase 1 of Operation: Terrify Lloyd complete. . .Mwahahahaha!!!!  
  
*fade out on demonic laughter*  
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*elsewhere, just south of Deningrad, Dart and Co. appear in mid-air, then promptly falling six feet into a stand of pine trees, where everybody manages to hit a limb the wrong way*  
  
Rose: Owwww. . .  
  
Dart: The agony. . .  
  
Lloyd: Ow. . . um, why are we all up in a tree?  
  
Albert: DonÕt ask. Trust me, you donÕt want to know.  
  
Lloyd: So where are we?  
  
Dart: Um, I think Deningrad is that way. I can sort of see the top of the castle.  
  
Albert: Blast!  
  
Rose: What?  
  
Albert: Well, IÕm two countries and a wasteland away from where I want to be. YouÕd be mad too.  
  
Lloyd: Well, talking wonÕt help you get there.  
  
*everybody else nods in agreement and climbs down, setting off for their various destinations, and leaving our Wingon queen contemplating how sheÕs going to torment Lloyd *next* time. . . .  
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AuthorÕs notes: Bwahahaha!! So, whatÕd ya think? This is my first fic, and I at least thought it turned out pretty well.  
  
Lloyd: It sucked. You made me watch Teletubbies. *grumpy*  
  
DarkMoon: Get over it. YouÕre alive, arenÕt you?  
  
Lloyd: . . .  
  
DarkMoon: Where are the others?  
  
Lloyd: Off getting massages because of the ending.  
  
DarkMoon: Oh. Okay.  
  
Um, no, I donÕt know where in the hell the whole Teletubbies thing came from, but it was funny, right? And it certainly helped me out.  
  
I finished writing this fic at about 2:30 am so. . . thatÕs what you get! Complete and utter insanity. God, IÕm babbling. *blinks* Sooo, anyway, please review, taking note of the fact that any flames sent to me will be used constructively for my next fic and then shoved down your throat by my minions. Later! 


End file.
